


Never Be The Same Again

by EmmanuelleNtambwe1997



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 04:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16866331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmanuelleNtambwe1997/pseuds/EmmanuelleNtambwe1997
Summary: When Emmanuelle and her husband Steve Rogers try to have a baby, she finds out that she’s unable to get pregnant. She feels so disappointed and insecure that she’s incapable to naturally bare her husband a child. Her world comes crashing down when his ex girlfriend Sharon Carter is suddenly standing at their doorstep, appearing to be six months pregnant with Steve’s child.





	1. Insecurity

##  **CHAPTER ONE: Insecurity**

 

 

“That was fantastic”, Steve spoke breathlessly as he lied next to me on the bed, drops of sweat on his forehead. “Yes it was”, I answered, trying to catch my breath from the amazing sex we just had. We lied next to each other, the only sound in the room were our heavy breaths.

“I hope that it will work this time”, I exclaimed as I wiped the sweat off my forehead. Steve turned to the side and wrapped on arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. “Hey it will work, don’t stress yourself honey”, he cooed and pressed a sweet kiss on my forehead. I sighed, wanting to believe my husband so badly.

“Okay”, I whispered, my voice clear with hesitation. Steve caressed my cheek with his large hand as he stared at me lovingly. “It will”, he spoke certain of his words. I nodded my head and rested it against the pillow.

“Or maybe there’s something wrong with me”, I said after a few minutes of silence. Steve scoffed loudly, “No baby don’t go down that road, we’re perfectly fine, and we’ll have a beautiful baby when the time is right okay?, he reassured.

I nodded my head after a few seconds, not knowing what to say. I let out a huge yawn, feeling exhausted of our previous activity. Steve sat up and pulled the covers over our naked bodies. I rested my head against his toned chest and wrapped my arm around his slim waist. Steve wrapped one arm around my shoulder and rested the other behind his head. He sighed and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

We were lying in silence our soft breathing being the only sound heard in the room. Besides the moonlight shining through the curtains, the room was dark.

I sighed, “Let’s get checked together, see if we’re able to naturally get pregnant”, I suggested and bit my lip afterwards, not knowing if Steve would like the idea. His chest rose and fell as he sighed heavily, “Okay darling, I’ll make an appointment tomorrow”, he promised.

“Let’s sleep now”, he whispered and pressed a sweet kiss on the top of my head. “Goodnight”, I whispered, already hearing soft snores leave his mouth.

I sighed and closed my eyes, a dozen thoughts running through my head.

Steve and I have been married for almost five years and were currently trying to conceive a child. We have been trying it for six months, but without any luck so far. We have been tracking my cycles and calculated the days I was the most fertile. I even changed my unhealthy diet and stopped drinking alcohol, replacing it with water an juicing.

We had sex almost on a daily basis, we were never able to keep our hands to ourselves but the thought of combining our love to create a new life made us crave one another even more.

Steve always wanted to be a father but didn’t think that it would be possible due to the fact that he was an Avenger and his life consisted of danger 24/7. But I always knew that I wanted to share my life with him, I knew that I wanted to have his children, so I did my best at juggling his dangerous lifestyle which made us grow closer as a couple.

Shaking my head to dismiss the swirling thoughts, I sighed heavily and closed my eyes. I focused on Steve’s steady heartbeat and slow breathing and fell asleep a few minutes after him.

 

 

* * *

 

_*Beep Beep Beep*_

 

 

I groaned as I rolled over and reached my arm out to stop my alarm. I sighed and let out a huge yawn before slowly opening my eyes. I blinked a couples of times before my vision became clear and I could read the time on the clock.

_6:30 am_

I let out another groan, feeling tired and sore from last nights activities. I removed the sheets off my body and sat at the end of the bed, stretching my body. I stood up and hissed at the soreness from in between my thighs. Sighing deeply, I made my way to the bathroom already hearing the water run.

Once I stepped into the bathroom, I saw that the room was foggy due to the fact that Steve was taking a shower. Once he heard the door close, he turned around and wiped his hand across the glass shower door and smiled, once his vision became clear and saw me standing at the door.

“Good morning darling, how have you slept?”, he asked sweetly. I smiled tiredly at my husband, “Good but I’m still tired and sore from yesterday”, I exclaimed while walking over to the sink. I took my toothbrush and paste before I started brushing my teeth.

“Oh sorry darling, I hope the pain isn’t too much”, Steve’s worried expression reflected through the mirror. I shook my head and spit the paste out, “No don’t worry it’s okay”, I reassured before I rinsed my mouth with mouthwash and turned around, leaning against the sink.

Steve turned the water off and hopped out of the shower, and drying his body off with a white towel, his back facing me. I couldn’t help but smile at my gorgeous husband. It’s like Steve sensed my eyes on his back because he turned his head around with a smirk, “Enjoying the private show?”, he asked seductively.

I chuckled, “Always have and always will my love”. We both chuckled before he walked over to me, and greeting me with a sweet kiss on the lips, “I love you”, Steve whispered after pulling away. I smiled up at him, “I love you too Steve and I can’t wait until we’ll have a baby”.

I giggled as a few water drops from his hair fell onto my nose. Steve gave me a gorgeous smile, “Me too, I can’t wait either”. We leaned in for another passionate kiss before I pulled away and walked over to the shower.

“I’ll make an appointment by our doctor when I’ll finish my training with Sam and Bucky”, he informed me before walking out of the bathroom. I sighed and hopped into the shower, once I turned the water on I closed my eyes as the warmth relaxed my muscles.

I started washing my body with soap, shampooed and conditioned my hair before I shaved my body. During all that time I had so many thoughts running through my mind about how Steve and mine’s baby would look.

“He or she will have his eyes that’s for sure”, I chuckled to myself before I turned the water off and hopped out of the shower and drying my body off with a towel. After putting body lotion and perfume on my body, I walked over to the sink and started putting make up on my face. I always kept it simple, eyeliner with mascara and some powder with lipstick.

I blew myself a kiss before leaving the bathroom and making my way into the closet. Steve was just finishing pulling his shirt over his head when I walked in, “I’ll be home at four, I love you”, he informed me before giving me one last kiss, “Okay, love you too”, I answered before he walked out of our shared bedroom.

I chose a black crop top with a dark printed peplum jacket and some black pants as my outfit while humming a random tune and after putting my close on, I completed my outfit with black heels. 

After that I took my phone and purse from my nightstand and walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

 

 

One I arrived in the kitchen, I made some toast with butter and jam when my phone suddenly buzzed. I finished chewing the last bite before I pulled it out of my purse.

**_Hey girl! Are we still in for the binge watching session tonight?_ **

My best friend Shayla asked me. I groaned loudly and threw my head back.

**_Rain check for tomorrow? Steve and I are trying to get an appointment asap to check our impotence_ **

I texted her back.

**_Oh….No problem, just let me know the results okay? Good luck babe!_ ** ****

I sighed and thanked her before finishing my coffee and taking my car keys at the counter top. I walked past the living room to the front door and opened it. Once I got into my car I pulled out of the drive way and made my way to work.

 

* * *

 

 

**_I got us an appointment at 5:30 pm_ **

Steve’s message said.

 

**_Okay see you at 4:30_ **

 

I quickly typed back and hid my phone once my boss walked past my office, “Hello Emmanuelle”, he kindly greeted me, I smiled back at him and nodded my head before he walked away and out of my sight.

I sighed relieved and was happy that we still got an appointment today so we could close this chapter as soon as possible and concentrate on the positive. I cleared my throat and refocused my attention on the computer screen and to continue my work.

The hours passed quickly and before I knew it, it was four pm. I finished writing and sending the last report of the day to my boss, before I shut the computer down. I stood up stretched before I lifted my purse off the ground and made my way out of my office.

I walked past the reception, “Goodbye Nancy”, I said to the receptionist before walking into the elevator. Once I turned around, Nancy waved goodbye while talking on the phone and shot me a quick smile before the elevator doors closed.

Once I arrived at underground parking lot, I walked to my car and hopped in. I just had put my seat belt on when my phone buzzed on passenger seat. I reached over and grabbed it and smiled once Steve’s picture appeared on the screen.

“Hey babe”, I greeted happily while plugging the phone to the AUX cord and putting him on speaker while driving out of the parking lot. “Hey doll, how was your day?”, Steve asked gently. I smiled while driving through the streets, “Oh just a regular day, nothing special, and how was yours? How is the team?”, I asked.

Steve chuckled, “I kicked Sam’s ass during training and now he’s so butt hurt it’s so funny”, he informed while laughing at the end. I giggled and imagined Sam’s bitter face as Steve kicked his ass during training.

Steve cleared his throat after being silent for a few minutes, “So are you nervous?”, he asked me. I shifted in my seat and pulled into our drive way, “Hold on, I’m here”, I hang up and took my phone along with my purse and got out of the car.

I quickly walked up the front porch before arriving at the front door and opening it. Once I stepped inside the house, I was immediately greeted with a bone crushing hug from my husband. “Hey doll”, he chuckled while sighing and caressing my back gently.

“Hey babe”, I chuckled into his toned chest and closed my eyes for a mere second, loving the feeling of having him so close to me. “So are you nervous?”, he repeated his question.

I unwrapped my arms from his waist and looked hesitantly up to him, “Yeah a little”, I admitted. Steve sighed and ran a removed a strand of hair from my face, “Don’t worry darling”, he reassured me before pressing his lips against mine.

I sighed happily and closed my eyes while sparks ran through my whole body. Steve pulled me closer and rested his hands on my thick waist. “How long will it take before we get the results?”, I asked after pulling away from the sweet kiss.

“Right after the exams we’re going to know them”, he answered me and held my hand as we both walked to the couch and sat on it. “Okay”, I sighed as Steve squeezed my hand gently.

“And no matter what the results are, I love you okay? And we’re going to have a baby, I don’t care how”, Steve spoke while he held my head in his large hands and stared deeply into my eyes.

His words made my heart flutter and my insecurities disappear as his eyes showed nothing but love and support. I smiled and nodded my head before leaning in, capturing his lips in another kiss.

We relaxed on the couch for forty five minutes before we made our way to the car and drove to our doctor.

 

Once we arrived there, we checked in and waited until our doctor appeared, “Mr and Ms Rogers?”, he spoke up as he approached us in the waiting room. Steve and I immediately stood up and shook our hands with him.

“So I’ll check your fertility today, so please follow me”, he spoke gently and guided us through the hall way. “Okay Mr. Rogers, you will be examined in this room, please remove your clothes and put the gown on we provided for you. My colleague will examine you”, the doctor spoke and pointed at door in front of us.

Steve took a deep breath and turned to me, “Okay I love you and see you later okay? Don’t forget my words darling”, he quickly spoke before kissing me passionately and entering the room, closing the door behind him.

The doctor turned to me, “Your examination room is over there”, he walked until he reached the end of the hall and pointed at the door. I nodded my head and followed his lead. “Same goes for you, please put on the gown and I will examine you, the results will be up a few minutes after the examination”, he smiled at me and opened the door for me.

I entered the room and looked around. There was this huge machine, along with an examination chair and a small changing cabin in the corner. I took a deep breath and walked over to the changing cabin, removing my clothes and putting the provided gown on.

I let out a shakily breath as I tried to calm down my frantic heartbeat, as the doctor knocked on the door before entering it. He smiled gently at me, “No need to be nervous Emmanuelle, this will go by quickly”, he reassured me before asking me to lie down on the examination chair.

I did as I was told and nervously looked over to the doctor, who was putting on his latex gloves. I closed my eyes for a mere second before I reopened them and the exam started…


	2. Heartbreaking news

##  **CHAPTER TWO: Heartbreaking news**

 

The ticking of the clock on the wall was the only sound in the office as Steve and I were sitting next to each other, our hands tightly holding onto one another. The examination went by quickly and it didn’t hurt at all, most of the time I was so distracted by my thoughts to even notice how the time flew by.

 

I had the feeling that every waiting second was lasting for like an hour, feeling so nauseous and nervous that I couldn’t sit still in my chair. 

 

My heart was beating frantically as I tried to calm it by inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth. Steve squeezed my hand, making me look at him, “ It’s going to be okay my love”, he gave me a reassuring smile before bringing my hand up to his plump lips and kissing my knuckles.

 

The sweet gesture made butterflies erupt in my stomach, as he was able to distract me. I took a deep breath, “I’m so nervous”, I admitted while frowning. “What if we’re not able to-“, Steve’s warm lips cut me off mid-sentence.

 

I instantly closed my eyes and concentrated on the sparks that ran through my body as I kissed him back. Steve moved his mouth passionately against mine, making almost all my worries fly out the window.

 

But our intimate moment got interrupted when the door of the office abruptly opened and the doctor entered. The sound of the door opening made Steve and I jump and quickly pull away from each other’s lips.

 

“Hello again Mr. and Ms. Rogers”, the doctor greeted us kindly while walking over to his desk with the results in his hands. Steve and I cleared our throats and intertwined our hands together again while we greeted the doctor back.

 

_**This was it** …_My heart skipped a few beats once the doctor cleared his throat. I let out a shaky breath as he started speaking, “So let’s start with you Mr. Rogers”, a serious look on his face.

 

Steve took a shaky deep breath as a worried look spread across his handsome face. I squeezed his hand, reassuring him that I was there for him no matter what. He looked over at me and gave me an unsure smile, “It’s going to be okay babe”, I whispered.

 

“There were no signs of impotence in your sperm, they are well and healthy”, the doctor smiled.

 

Steve and I sighted in relief and smiled lovingly at one another, our hands squeezing one another tightly.

 

“Now Ms. Rogers”, the doctor started and cleared his throat, “Unfortunately”, he sighed and gave me a sympathetic look. My stomach immediately churned, the anxiety running through my body, once I heard his serious tone, “Your uterus is shaped in an unusual form. It isn’t able to carry a child. I am so sorry to say this, but you’re unable to get pregnant”.

 

A silent gasp left my lips as I proceeded the chocking news. My heart stopped beating as his words kept running through my head…

 

_Unable to get pregnant…._

_Unable to get pregnant…_

**_Unable to carry a child…_ **

****

My vision got blurry as the thick tears gathered in my eyes before streaming down my cheeks. I literally felt my heart break in my chest, the pain was unbearable. I let out short breaths while I started sobbing, as Steve caressed my back and telling me how sorry he was for me.

 

“Ms. Rogers, there are other options to become parents. You can choose a surrogate to carry your child, or adoption”, the doctor proposed. But I only sobbed louder at his suggestions. I wanted to be able to carry my own child, feel it toss and turn in my stomach as it would grow every day, I wanted to bring it into this world by my own and not by someone else…

 

My heart clenched painfully in my chest as the doctor continued proposing different methods to become a mother . “No”, I whimpered and sniffled. It took me a few deep breaths to calm down my sobbing before I was able to look at the doctor. “No, I don’t want another option, I want to be able to carry my own child in my womb” I snapped.

 

Steve sighed deeply, “Darling I’m so sorry”, he whispered again and tried intertwining our hands but I pulled away, feeling too much pain and shame run through my body. “I can’t give you a child”, I whispered and stood up, wanting nothing more than to leave the building.

 

“Darling wait!”, Steve called out to me but I shook my head and walked out of the office, down the hall before leaving the building. Once I stood outside I took a deep breath. Fresh tears streamed down my face as I walked over to the car, turned around and leaned my back against it.

 

I clenched my eyes shut, trying so hard to stop myself from starting to sob again. “Why me?”, I kept asking myself. It’s like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I wasn’t able to give Steve a child. The thought made me cry harder as I so disappointed in myself, my body had betrayed me.

 

“Emmanuelle!”, Steve’s voice came from the distance. I opened my eyes and wiped the tears away. Steve was running over to me, his face showing nothing but pain and sorrow. Once he reached me he engulfed me in a bone crushing hug.

 

“I’m so sorry baby”, he kept apologizing as he wrapped his arms tighter around my waist. I whimpered and pulled away from his grasp, not feeling like having him close to me. Steve looked at me confused to why I refused his affection, but I just shook my head.

 

“Just unlock the car please”, my hoarse voice begged him. “Emmanuelle, please let’s just-“, I cut him off by lifting my hand in the air and shaking my head again. “No, I want to go home”, I sternly spoke.

 

Steve gave up and took the keys out of his back pocket and unlocked the car. Without another word, I stepped into it and put my seat belt on before looking to the side and staring out of the window. Steve walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat.

 

We pulled out of the parking lot and drove our way home. The car ride was silent as Steve didn’t dare to speak while thick tears streamed down my face, but I never made the effort to wipe them away, feeling too heartbroken to do so.

 

Once we pulled into our drive way, Steve cut the engine off and turned to me, his pained expression making my heart clench painfully in my chest. “Baby”, he started, “Please don’t think that all this is your fault, we still can have children”, he reassured me and reached his hand out for me.

 

I whimpered and pulled my hand away from his while shaking my head. I couldn’t form any words. It was like they were stuck in my throat and couldn’t come out. So I just sighed and removed my seat belt before climbing out of the car and walking to the front door.

 

I weakly pulled the keys from my purse and opened the front door, immediately passing through the living room and walking to the stairs. “Emmanuelle, let’s talk about this”, Steve’s desperate voice pleaded behind me.

 

I turned around, “Talk about what?! That I’m not able to have children?!”, I yelled as fresh tears ran down my cheeks again. “I’m  ** _heartbroken_**  Steve! I always wanted to carry a child in my stomach, protect in for nine months before bringing it  ** _myself_**  into this world! And I don’t care if I sound selfish , but I can’t accept the fucking fact that that will  ** _never_**  happen, and if it would that  ** _someone else_**  would have to go through all the stages that  ** _I always wished I would go through_**!”, I screamed, my voice hoarse from the yelling and sobbing.

 

Steve stood there speechless, tears blurring his vision as he listened to every word that left my mouth. I was gasping for air while turning around and running up the stairs. I silently sobbed to myself as I walked down the hall before barging into our shared bedroom and walking over to our bed.

 

Once I got under the covers, I closed my eyes and let all the pain wash over me. I ended up silently crying for hours until I didn’t have any tears left. Suddenly the soft sound of the door opening caught my attention. “Darling”, Steve’s gentle voice called out to me. I didn’t move a muscle or made a sound, feeling weak.

 

“I made dinner, you haven’t eaten in hours”, he continued as I heard how he walked over to the bed and sat at the edge, next to me. I still kept quiet as I heard him sigh in defeat.

 

“Please darling”, he begged, his voice cracking at the end. “I-I can’t eat”, I weakly whimpered, too afraid that if I would continue talking, I would burst out in tears again. Steve’s heartbroken sigh echoed through the silent room…

 

“I love you Emmanuelle, you’ll get through this and I’ll be there at every step, I promise”, he gently spoke before I felt him stand up from the bed and silently leave our shared bedroom, closing the door.

 

 

* * *

 

“Baby”, Steve’s gentle voice woke me up. I groaned as I felt the covers being removed from my upper body. My eyes fluttered open until I had a clear view. Steve was sitting next to me on the edge of the bed. 

 

He was already dressed and gave me a sad smile. I didn’t return one, the awful memories of yesterday going through my head again, making tears brim my eyes as I took a shaky breath.

 

“Good morning, I made you breakfast”, Steve gently exclaimed and leaned his body over my nightstand, taking the tray with the breakfast and putting it next to me on the bed.

 

I didn’t feel like eating at all, so I sat up straight and gave the tray back to Steve, not saying a word. Tears brimmed his beautiful eyes as he shot me a pained look. “Baby please eat something before you faint, you already look pale”, he whispered and tried feeding me a piece of bacon, but I moved my head to the side and weakly shook my head.

 

He sadly stared at me for a few seconds before dropping the piece of bacon back on the plate and putting the tray on the nightstand. He reached forward and grasped my hands in his, squeezing them before pulling them up to his lips and kissing my knuckles.

 

The gesture made the tears run down my face, feeling like a disappointment to him. “I-I’m so sorry”, I whimpered before pulling my hands away from his and dropping my head in them, my shoulders moving up and down with every sob that left my body.

 

Steve engulfed me in his strong arms, kissing the top of my head. “What are you sorry for?”, he asked me after a few minutes, as he let me cry in his arms. I sniffled and pulled back from his embrace. I wiped my eyes before looking at my husband.

 

“For not being able to have your children”, I whimpered as new tears ran down my face. Having to say it out loud again, made my heart break all over. A painful frown crept onto his face, once he heard my words.

 

“Darling it’s not your fault, please don’t blame yourself for this. I still love you with all my heart. And I’m not mad, I feel so sorry for you baby”, he cooed and wiped my tears away with his thumb before leaning in and giving me gentle kiss on the lips.

 

I didn’t kiss him back, which made Steve pull away and frown at me. “I’m sorry I just need to be alone right now”, I whimpered before lying on my back and pulling the covers over my head. To prevent myself from crying again, I bit my trembling lip as I waited for Steve’s next move.

 

It was silent for a few seconds before I heard how Steve let out a deep breath. “I’ll call in sick for you baby, I love you”, his cracking voice spoke before he stood up from the bed. I could hear how he lifted the tray with the now cold breakfast and left the room, leaving me all alone again to suffer in silence.

 

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes before drifting back into sleep…

 

* * *

 

 

“Babe wake up”, Shayla’s gentle voice woke me up. I groaned as she started shaking me while removing the warm covers off my body. “What”, I snapped weakly while opening my eyes.

 

Once I had a clear view, I saw Shayla sitting at the edge of the bed with a sad look on her face. I groaned and tried covering my body, but she quickly pulled the covers away from my grasp.

 

“No you need to get up and eat and drink something before you pass out” she softly ordered while I sat up straight on the bed leaning my back against the headboard, still feeling the aching hole in my chest.

 

“Sweety, Steve called me literally on the edge of breaking down and told me what happened”, she started and reached her hand out to squeeze mine.

 

I closed my eyes in pain and shook my head slowly, “I don’t feel like eating, I don’t feel like drinking. All I want to do is sleep and try to forget the last twenty four hours”, I whimpered.

 

“Please let me cook something small for you, after that I’ll let you go back to sleep. I won’t force you to talk about it, please”, she softly begged me, tears brimming her eyes as she patiently waited for my answer.

 

I slowly nodded my head and got off the bed. Shayla gave me a sad smile and watched as I slowly made my way to the bathroom, where I emptied my bladder, brushed my teeth and washed my face. I didn’t make an effort to see how I looked before turning around and leaving the bathroom.

 

Once I came back, I changed into another pair of pyjama’s before we both walked out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen. No words were spoken as Shayla immediately walked over to the fridge and took some cheese out of it. I silently watched her making grilled cheese for me.

 

I was playing with my fingernails as I tried to ignore the sympathetic look Shayla was giving me while finishing cooking for me. “Here you go love”, she mumbled and put the plate in front of me, along with a glass of water.

 

My stomach grumbled as I suddenly felt the hunger rush over me. I immediately dug in, still not giving a peep from me as Shayla took a seat next to me and silently watched me eat.

 

“Thank you” I whispered after I finished chewing on the bite and shoved the plate away from me. I cleared my throat, “You’re the most welcome love, it’s the least I can do for you”, she answered me and leaned forwards, wrapping her arms around me.

 

I sighed and let my head fall on her shoulder as I let her hug me. “I’m heartbroken”, I whimpered and didn’t make an effort to wipe the already fallen tears off my face. “I don’t know how to get over this. I’m in so much pain and misery Shayla”, I sobbed.

 

Shayla shushed me and rocked me back and forth, the movement somehow calming me. “I’m so sorry love. I know how much you wanted this”, she started. “But let me tell you this, you’re a strong woman Emmanuelle, you will get over this, and you will have a child”. I sniffled and pulled away from her embrace.

 

“You really think so?” I asked, my expression showing sadness but also hope. Shayla nodded her and smiled at me “You will, you and Steve will have beautiful children”.


	3. The truth comes out

The past months had been rough. I had taken a temporary leave from work after my doctor discovered that I was suffering from depression.

 

I had spent the first few weeks in bed, never left my house, not even to go grocery shopping, too scared that if I would see a pregnant woman, a baby or a child I would break again.I had been cried every day until the exhaustion knocked me out, making me sleep eleven hours a day. Steve and Shayla literally had to help me to change my clothes, shower and eat because I didn’t have the strength to do it on my own.

 

To say that I was insecure about my body was an understatement. I had been covering myself with oversize pajamas's and dismissed every initiative of Steve trying to show me physical affection. Hell, I wouldn’t even let him kiss my cheek or hold my hand. I had build up a wall between the both of us.

 

Our marriage had gone through a very tough time. We fought over almost every little thing. My emotions had gotten the best of me and I even had kicked Steve out of our shared house a few times. My mind had been clouded with so many negative thoughts, I was in a very dark place with no light or hope at the end of the tunnel.

 

I almost had broken the friendship between Shayla and I. I had been selfish, thinking that no one could understand my pain and misery. I felt like I was the only person on earth going through that horrible phase, so I also had picked fights with her, even had called her a bad friend. Which was not true of course, she had been there for me all along, never left my side and held me in her arms whenever I cried.

 

But despite all the awful things I had done  to my husband and best friend, they never abandoned me.They stayed and reassured me that they were the rocks I could lean on, even though I had felt like I didn’t deserve it.

 

It had taken me six months before I had been able to leave my bed, shower and cook for myself without help. I had gotten better day by day, knowing that I was wasn’t alone.

 

I had excepted my diagnose and made peace with it. It was the closure I had needed to finally move on with my life, and consider other ways to conceive a child.

 

The tough phase made Steve and I grow closer as a couple, knowing that he was always there for me made me realize how lucky I was. To have someone love you unconditional, to laugh and cry whenever you do and most importantly, to build you up again after you’ve been torn down was is beautiful.

 

Not once did he complain about my behavior or said something hurtful during our fights. It made me feel awful because that’s exactly what I’d done to him. Nonetheless, he forgave me and said that he understood the state of mind I was in.

 

After eight months, I returned back to work and was greeted with a heartwarming “Welcome back” party. All my colleagues had surprised me and wrote me beautiful letters where they expressed their sadness over my condition and wished me nothing but the best for the future. They even got me flowers and chocolates, as we celebrated my return.

 

My life was turning normal again during the ninth month, where Steve and I celebrated our five year anniversary, which ended up with us making love to each other for the first time since my mental break down.

 

It was magical…Even though I was still a little insecure about my body, Steve reassured me that he loved every inch, bump and curve. Our eyes never left each other as we both released at the same time.

 

I remember the way he whispered that he loved me with his heart body and soul as we cuddled and held tightly held onto one another. After that my life returned back to normal.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I missed them”, I spoke while entering the living room, Steve strolling right behind me as he chuckled. “They certainly missed you, and are happy that you’re doing well now”, he gently spoke, making me turn around and smile at him.

 

Steve and I just had gotten back from a small get together with the Avengers. I hadn’t seen them in almost ten months. So when Steve told them that I had finally overcome my depression, they immediately wanted to see me and catch up with me.

 

The welcomed me with hugs and kisses before we ordered some take out and ate while they told me the adventurous and funniest stories.

 

It was just past eight pm when we had gotten home and were currently standing in the living room, facing each other as we just had removed our jackets.

 

“I’m happy that you’re doing fine now”, Steve gently whispered, his loving expression never leaving his face. I couldn’t help but smile at his words before he gently pressed his soft, plump lips against mine. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the pleasant sparks that flew through my body.

 

I lifted my arms and wrapped them around his broad shoulders, as Steve copied my actions but wrapped his strong arms around my thick waist. The kiss got heated as Steve brushed his tongue against my upper lip before sucking on it, silently asking me permission.

 

I whimpered and opened my mouth, welcoming his warm tongue as he moved it sensually against mine. The movements made the heat rush through my body, as the room suddenly felt a little bit too warm.

 

_*Ding Dong*_

The sound of the doorbell made me pull away from Steve’s lips, making him whine like a baby. “No, please ignore it and let’s take this to the bedroom doll”, he pleaded me, his eyes intense and dark from lust.

 

I almost gave in, but the doorbell rang a second time, making me unwrap my arms from around his shoulders, “No can do love”, I answered him. “You can take me to the bedroom in a few minutes babe”, I promised and walked past him, swaying my hips a little bit more that usual. 

 

Steve groaned, “You’re driving me crazy baby”, but followed me to the front door. I opened it and was caught off guard to who was facing us.

 

“Sharon?”, I asked shocked and confused.

 

“Hi”, she timidly greeted us, her eyes only on Steve. She was wearing an oversized jacket and wrapped her arms tightly around her stomach as she balanced her weight from one foot to another.

 

“What are you doing here?” Steve’s anxiously asked. My head immediately snapped to him, frowning at his nervous expression.

 

Sharon cleared her throat before speaking with a shaky voice, “I’m sorry Steve, but I can’t hide it anymore”. She looked very pale, sick almost.

 

I sighed and stepped aside, “Please come in, you look like you’re about to faint”, I offered and frowned once again as Sharon slowly entered our home, her arms still over her stomach as she walked into the living room.

 

She had tears brimming her eyes as she gave me and Steve a sad look. Steve suddenly seemed very nervous. “Babe what’s wrong?”, I asked him confused. Steve just shook his head and started pacing around the living room.

 

My stomach dropped as I saw my husband anxious pacing around the room, feeling that something very bad had happened. “I’m so sorry Emmanuelle, it just happened”, Sharon started as the tears rushed down her cheeks.

 

“What are you talking about?”, I asked, my heart beating frantically in my chest. Steve groaned loudly before walking over to me and holding my hands. “Please believe me that I’m so sorry darling, I never meant for this to happen”, he stuttered, as his eyes got teary too.

 

I pulled my hands away and took a step back, “Okay what the fuck are you talking about Steve, what happened?”, I snapped impatiently and stared at the ex lovers. Sharon sniffled before she opened her jacket, exposing her big baby bump. “I’m six months pregnant with Steve’s child”, she whispered.

 

My heart stopped beating as I stared at her pregnant belly…I stood there frozen, as the newly shared information swirled in my head. “Darling”, Steve shaky voice called out to me.

 

I slowly turned my head and watched as he stared at me, waiting for my reaction. I blinked a few times as my vision suddenly got blurry, “So..s-she’s having your baby?”, my voice cracked at the end.

 

“When did this happen?”, I whispered weakly before sitting down on the couch, looking at the floor as I felt my heart break all over again in my chest. “Darling please”, Steve started, but I cut him off “Don’t. You. Dare”, I spat through gritted teeth.

 

I closed my eyes for a split second before looking up at Sharon, who was still standing like a statue, her face pale with bloodshot eyes. “Six months ago, I was staying at the Avengers Tower for two days when Steve suddenly came and told me that you had kicked him out. He was crying and anxious,  so I calmed  him down…And one thing lead to another and we had sex”, she finished and wiped the tears off my face.

 

Every word she spoke was like a knife to my heart. The thick tears rushed down my cheek as I slowly nodded my head, feeling disgusted and betrayed.

 

“Emmanuelle I’m so sorry”, Sharon apologized. But I just shook my head and turned to Steve. “And you knew about the baby?”, I whispered. Steve sighed and walked over to me, before dropping onto his knees, “Emmanuelle I am so sorry, I wasn’t thinking at all”, he dodged my question.

 

I scoffed, knowing the answer. He fucking knew. “How long did you know?”, I growled. Steve reached his hands out, but I abruptly stood up and walked past him. “How long?!”, I yelled catching them both off guard and making them jump up in surprise.

 

“Since the beginning, she called me right after she visited her doctor”, Steve softly confessed and slowly stood up and towards to me.

 

“And you came home to me, pretended that nothing had happened, touched me, kissed me, made love and told me that you loved me, all while knowing that soon you will become a father?”, I questioned him, the anger rising after every word that left my mouth.

 

“Darling”, Steve whispered. “No don’t fucking darling me! You knew that I was fucking depressed because I’m unable to have children so you go and get your ex pregnant?!”, I yelled while pointing at Sharon. She lowered her head in shame.

 

“I’m so sorry”, Sharon whispered again before walking to the front door and opening it, leaving Steve and I alone.

 

I closed my eyes, as I suddenly felt nauseous. Steve cheated on me and got his ex pregnant. She will give him his first child… **Not me** …

 

I lost control of my body and dropped on the ground, gasping for air at every sob that left my mouth. My whole body was shaking. Suddenly, Steve’s strong arms were wrapped around my shoulders. Feeling his touch made me snap.

 

“No! Get away from me”, I yelled at the top of my lungs and pushed him away from me. I clenched my hands into fists and punched Steve’s chest as he desperately tried to calm me down.

 

“Emmanuelle please look at me!”, he yelled. I shook my head and continued sobbing while punching his chest. “I love you, please find it in your heart to forgive”, Steve desperately begged while pulling me onto my feet.

 

I shook my head and tried calming down my sobs. I opened my eyes and looked at my husband. His eyes showed so much pain and sadness…But I didn’t care. He had no right to feel bad, he’s the one who did this to me. 

He cheated on me, he touched her and kissed her before having sex with her. He betrayed me by coming back home and never confessed what he did. No, he acted as if nothing had happened and touched me, kissed me, made love to me and said that he  **loved** me.

 

“I…”, The words were stuck in my throat.…”Please forgive me”, Steve begged again. “Please don’t throw away five years . Five years full of love, happiness, tears of joy and tears of pain. Please tell me what to do to get you to forgive me”, he reached out and held my hands.

 

His loving touch with the sparks and fireworks were now gone.Now I felt disgust and the urge to have him as far away as possible. My breath got caught in my throat as the gut wrenching realization hit me…

 

“Please say something”, Steve whispered and squeezed my hands.

 

I whimpered and pulled them away, feeling like his touch was poisonous to me. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before reopening them.

 

I took a deep, shaky breath as fresh tears ran down my cheeks. “I…I can’t stay married to you”, I whispered and saw Steve’s face paled.

 

“ **No, no, no** ” he mumbled while staring wide eyed at me, shaking his head frantically. His heartbreaking expression sending a new wave of pain through my heart.

 

“You cheated on me Steve” I weakly spoke and watched as he ran his hands roughly through his blonde hair before pacing up and down the living room. The sound of his heavy breathing was echoing through the room.

 

I sniffled. “You went out and got Sharon pregnant. How could you betray me like that?! After everything I’ve been through!”I cried. “And on top of it all, you knew about the baby but never got the balls to tell me?!”.

 

“You threw away our marriage the second you kissed her.You hid your unfaithfulness from me…You secretly got prepared to become a father knowing that that was something you’re supposed to do with  **me**  not her!”, I finished and started sobbing again.

“I don’t want to be with you anymore”, I weakly whimpered before running up the stairs.

 

“Emmanuelle no!”, Steve’s loud voice called out behind me, but I ignored it and ran towards our once shared room.

 

Steve was hot on my heels, but I was able to enter the bedroom and lock the door right on time before he could come in . “I love you! I love you so fucking much! It was a mistake!”, Steve cried while banging on the door.

 

I turned around and leaned my back against the door, sliding down while crying until I was sitting on the floor.I pulled my knees up to my chest and leaned my head against them as I cried….

 

 

* * *

 

 

I woke up with a sore throat and an aching pain in my back. I groaned and opened my eyes, seeing that I was still sitting against the door in the bedroom. I sighed and felt new tears brim my eyes as I remembered the events from a few hours ago.

I slowly sat up and whimpered in pain before stretching my body. Looking over at my nightstand, I saw that it was 3:30 am.

 

I sighed as my heavy heart clenched painfully in my chest. With not much strength, I walked over to the closed and took out as many suitcases and duffel bags I could find.

 

Slowly but surely, I started packing all my belongings while silent tears ran down my cheeks.

 

After I was done packing, I walked over to my nightstand and took out a piece of paper and a pen from the drawer. Sighing heavily, I removed my wedding ring from my finger, looking at one last time. I sniffled and wiped my tears away before I began writing.

 

_Steve,_

_Never would I’ve though that we would end up breaking up. The second my eyes met yours I knew that I wanted to spend my whole life with you. You were always the one, my soulmate, my everything._

_The happiest moments were always with you, you brought the best side out of me, and I did the best I could to return the favor._

_You taught me so much and was always there for me at my worst and best…I know we had our ups and downs, but this…This is something we won’t be able to fix. I will never regret what we had, Steve. Never. But I can’t stay married to you. You hurt me. You betrayed me. You cheated on me, but worst of all…You will father a child with someone that isn’t me…That’s something I will never be able to handle. Not now, not ever…I’m so sorry_

_Emmanuelle_

I sniffled and folded the paper. I put the wedding ring on top of it, and with a heavy and painful heart, I stood up and slowly walked over to the door. 

 

Once I had slowly opened it, I saw that the hallway was empty. That was my cue to take all the suitcases and duffel bags and get them downstairs.

 

I sighed and started brought them all downstairs.. I walked past the kitchen, into the living room and saw Steve sleeping on the couch. His hair tousled from, I assume, running his hands through it with dried tear stains on his cheeks.

 

I bit my lip to prevent myself from saying anything as I walked past him and put all my belongings in the car.

 

I lifted the last duffel bags from the floor and turned towards Steve. I tiptoed over to him and leaned down, staring at his gorgeous face. I slowly lifted my hand and caressed his cheek before I leaned down and gave him one last kiss on his soft lips.

 

“Goodbye”, I whispered shakily before standing up and walked towards the front door, slowly opening it. I shot one last look at my now ex husband before I turned around and closed the door. I pulled out of the drive way once I had gotten into my car and drove away from our once shared life.


	4. We meet again

_five years later_

 

 

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining bright and the birds were chirping happily. Steve was sitting on a bench in the park, watching his son Thomas playing with the other kids, as they were exploring the playground.

He was wearing a proud smile on his face, as he watched Thomas playing happily. He chuckled as his son came running towards him, something hidden in his tiny balled fist. “Daddy look, a worm!”, Thomas squealed in joy and proudly showed his father his discovery.

“Oh wow buddy! ”, Steve proudly smiled and kissed his son’s forehead before he ran back to his friends, still squealing in delight. Thomas was a smaller version of Steve. He had beautiful bright blue eyes, with curly blonde hair and was just as stubborn as his father.

Steve was still in awe of watching his son play and didn’t notice how another person sat down on the bench next to him.

“He’s beautiful”, a soft but familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts. His head snapped to the side and he gasped in shock when he saw Emmanuelle sitting next to him.

She was even more beautiful than he remembered. She gave him a beautiful smile, which he returned despite his state of shock. His eyes trailed down her body and his eyebrows shut up in surprise once he saw her beautiful pregnant belly.

“Hi Steve”, Emmanuelle whispered. It took him a minute to form any words, “H-Hi” he stuttered before clearing his throat and trying to calm down his frantic heartbeat. “Wow it’s been what, four years?”, Steve asked.

Emmanuelle nodded her head and caressed her belly as the baby inside her decided to move around. “You’re pregnant”, Steve stated and gave her a soft smile, feeling his heart clench in pain on the inside.

“Yes I am”, she stated proudly. “How’s that possible?”, he tried his best to hide  the pain he was feeling.

“Two years after our divorce I met my husband Matthew. Six months ago, I was feeling very sick and went to the doctor to get checked. It came out that despite the deformation of my uterus, I was pregnant. The doctor told me that it was still possible to get pregnant but it was just way harder in my condition. But nonetheless she’s my little unexpected miracle” Emmanuelle finished and smiled down at her unborn daughter.

Steve had to refrain himself from frowning, every word she spoke hitting him painfully in his heart. It was silent for a minute.

“Congratulations Emmanuelle”, his voice cracking at the end. Emmanuelle softly nodded her head and thanked him.

“I wish it was mine”, Steve softly confessed after a few seconds. His ex-wife sighed heavily before she began speaking. “There was a time where I almost wished the same”, she whispered and looked at her ex-husband.

Steve’s eyes brimmed with tears as he swallowed hard. “Words can’t express how sorry I am for cheating on you”, he and cleared his throat, trying his best to swallow the lump that had formed.

“But I don’t regret having my son with Sharon” he whispered and shot a quick look at Thomas, who was still playing with the other kids.

“I fully understand you Steve, I really do. But I would have never been able to give you another chance”, Emmanuelle answered and followed his glance to Thomas. “Why not?”, her ex-husband asked desperately asked.

She sighed, “I loved you with all my heart, you were my soulmate.  Even if I would have stayed with you, I never would have been able to love you the same as before. We would eventually end up getting divorced anyway, because I wouldn’t have been able to accept and deal with the fact that I would have to play step mother of the child you had with another woman. It would  **never be the same again**  ”.

Steve tried his best to keep it together, as he listened to her words. “I’m so sorry”, he whispered and ran his hand through his hair. “I loved you, I still do. You were my everything, I’ve never loved and will never love anyone as much as I love you”, he confessed and reached out, grabbing her hand, squeezing it.

If Steve would’ve have touched her four years ago, Emmanuelle would have shuddered as the butterflies would erupt in her stomach. But now she felt no spark, no butterflies, nothing.

“You have to move on Steve, you’ll find love again but it won’t be with me”, she softly spoke and watched in sadness as her ex-husband sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes.

“I won’t”, he protested and shook his head. She scoffed, “Yes you will, but you’re not allowing yourself to move on”. “How can you be so sure of that? After what I’ve done to you?”, Steve asked confused and slowly removed his hand from hers.

Emmanuelle softly smiled, “Because I forgave you. I could never hate you Steve, you were once my entire world and I wish nothing but the best for you and your son. So please forgive yourself and move on”, she pleaded.

Steve was in awe, never would he have thought that he would hear those words from her. She had forgiven him, she never hated him but hoped for only good things for him and Thomas. “I never deserved you”, he whispered.

Emmanuelle bit her lip for a second, “But I loved you anyway”. The ex-couple stared at each other for a few minutes.

“So how are you doing?” Emmanuelle asked. Steve chuckled “I’m doing okay, I’m focusing on being the best father possible to Thomas and save the world from dangerous people”. Emmanuelle chuckled at his last words. “You’re a good father Steve, I can see the love you have for Thomas, and I’m pretty sure he’ll end up being just as a kind and genuine like you”.

“Thank you Emmanuelle, your daughter will be lucky to have a mother who wished nothing more than for her to exist”, Steve spoke. “And how are you doing?”, he asked.  She sighed happily, “I’m doing fine, I got promoted three years ago, that’s when I met Matthew. We fell in love and got married a year later. Now we’re both happily waiting for Anaya to be born”, she finished and caressed her belly again.

Steve looked down for a minute, processing her words. He sighed and silently decided that it was indeed time to move on from her. She was living the perfect life, she was happily married and was about to become a mother. Despite the burning pain he felt in his heart, he was finally ready to close that chapter and start fresh.

“I’m happy for you. I truly am, you deserve it after what happened with us”, Steve spoke. Emmanuelle felt her heart swell with joy as she heard those words come from his mouth. She felt relieved knowing that there wasn’t any bad blood between them.

“Thank you Steve”, she smiled. The ex couple was interrupted by Thomas who ran to his father, “Daddy break” the little boy announced and climbed onto his father’s lap.

Steve chuckled and held his son in his arms, “Who that?”, his son asked with big blue eyes while pointing at his ex-wife. Steve chuckled, “That’s Emmanuelle, someone daddy really cares about”, he answered.

Thomas nodded his head and greeted his father’s ex wife, “Hi, I’m Thomas!”, he grinned and pointed at himself. Emmanuelle chuckled, “Hello Thomas, nice to meet you!”.

Thomas and Emmanuelle spent playing with each other for an hour, while Steve stared at them lovingly.

It was when Matthew called and reminded her about the upcoming doctor’s appointment, she realized that she had to go. “See you around”, she softly spoke and gave Steve and Thomas a hug.

“See you around”, Steve answered and carried Thomas on his hip, while he waved at Emmanuelle. She gave them one last smile before turning around and walking out of the park.

 

_Three months later_

 

 

Steve just had put Thomas down for his afternoon nap. He closed the door, and slowly walked down the hall, and the stairs before entering his kitchen

“Did he make a fuss?”, Sharon asked him while handing him a cup of coffee and giving him a quick peck. “No he was pretty worn out from the birthday party”, Steve said after pulling away from the kiss and smiling at his girlfriend.

“So have at least an hour to do anything we want”, she stated, a smirk creeping onto his face. He chuckled before pulling her close again. They kissed each other passionately, feeling so much love for each other. 

Sharon abruptly pulled away while breathing heavily, “A letter came in for you today, with no address, just your name written on it”, she informed him. Steve furrowed his eyebrows confused, “Okay let me open it while you go and wait for me in the bedroom?”, he gently suggestedbefore pressing another sensual kiss to her lips.

Sharon bit her lip and nodded before turning around and walking up the stairs. Steve walked over the counter and lifted the white envelope. A small smile crept onto his face, as he immediately recognized the handwriting.

Without further thoughts he opened the envelope and pulled a pink card out of it.

_Meet Anaya,_ was written underneath the beautiful picture.

Steve’s heart skipped a beat, “She’s beautiful”, he thought to himself. He smiled as he felt his heart swell with joy. Emmanuelle’s most desired wish had finally come true.

Steve kissed the picture before putting the card back into the envelope and positioning it back onto the counter. He sighed happily, closing his eyes for a few seconds.

He finally felt at peace. Him and Sharon got back together and were stronger than ever with Thomas included, and Emmanuelle and Matthew had welcomed their beautiful baby girl.

Steve chuckled to himself before opening his eyes, turning around and walking up the stairs to join his girlfriend in the bedroom.

##  **THE END**


End file.
